Another calendar week, and another small list of cool shit that happened during it. Let's kick things off, shall we?
Mandy Trailer
There are exactly two people in my life who like Nic Cage as much as I do, and you know what I have to say to everyone else? Fuck you - Nic Cage rules. Watch this shit. Tell me he doesn't rule.
I don't like spookies, they're too... well, spooky. I don't like the idea of paying someone $15 to be scared for 95 minutes, but this doesn't look like your run of the mill horror movie. This looks like a suspenseful as shit thriller that's gorgeously crafted by a director, Panos Cosmatos who blew my fucking mind with his first film, Beyond the Black Rainbow.
I hate spookies. But I love auteurs. I don't like Metal Gear Solid games but I buy them because I respect the shit out of the craft. This movie looks terrifying in a smart way - it's unsettling. It looks like an entire universe with its own set of rules and the only things taken from our reality that are even vaguely familiar are the abstract notions of good and evil and the general shape of humans. This looks insane. If you don't think this looks insane, keep in mind that the dude's first movie is in a category that I call 7 - in that I feel like I only have the emotional and psychological strength to watch it once every seven years, and I expect nothing less from his sophomore effort.
Bad Times at the El Royale trailer
Keeping this movie trailer train a rollin', here's something I neglected to mention in previous posts, but the Mandy trailer dropping reminded me that there's another mindfuck looking of a movie worth getting excited about, and that movie is Bad Times at the El Royale.
Something about the cadence of the dialogue strikes me as Tarantino, but the way the trailer shows artifice gives it a unique spin that's cool enough to feel both Q and fresh at the same time and I don't really know what else I could want in a movie. Just when I think I'm satisfied and I can't buy my tickets fast enough, the ensemble cast shows up and blows the doors off the hinges.
The music and the general candor until the first bullet is fired makes it seem like a vacation comedy - like the fucking exotic Marigold Hotel or something. But then gunfire disrupts the tempo and the droll of a clock ticking amps the tension up to 11 and you see a crazy look in everyone's eyes and Jesus Crap, is it October 12th yet?
Demolition Man Pop Up
Demolition Man is one of the best made action movies of all time. It's such an anachronism that blows right past stereotype and becomes charming. For those who don't know - Wesley Snipes was the ultimate domestic terrorist and Sly Stallone was the ultimate cop who kept him in check. Both are cryogenically frozen in the late 1980's to serve their respective sentences. When they're unfrozen in the future, they hardly recognize the world they're released into.
One of the weirder parts about the movie, but seems pretty fucking on-brand as far as 2018 is concerned - is the anecdote that Taco Bell is the only surviving chain from the Fast Food Wars. Which, thanks to Droga5's work, they seem to be the only fast food chain anyone gives a shit about so, apparently Demolition Man should've been called Nostredemolition Man... Too dumb?
Alright, let's just say it was written by prophets and pretend that portmanteau never happened.
To celebrate that joke, there's going to be a Demolition Man themed Taco Bell pop-up happening for virigins I mean attendants at this year's San Diego Comic Con. Shit like this is the advertising I think is most fun; let's take a lot of money to make a specific group of people not only happy, but very happy.
At the very least I hope we find out what the three seashells do. I've been wondering for 18 years.
Hypersonic Jet
I know I swear a lot here but I want to apologize - because in this next one I'm going to swear a lot more than normal.
If you're anything like me you probably think about space a lot. We first went to the moon in 1969 (the anniversary is coming up in July, actually) and - depressingly, we haven't been back since 1971.
We took the future and we put it in a fucking box. We did that again with the Concorde plane in 2003. There was an airplane that flew higher than any commercial jet and faster than any commercial jet. Everyone thought it took 8 hours to fly from New York City to London and then the Concorde came out and did it in about three and a half.
Three and a half. That's insane. At that clip you could get across the continental US in less than two and a half hours. That's fucking awesome because that's what people do. We're goddamn pioneers and the only thing better than reaching the horizon is reaching the next one.
That's why Boeing unveiling a new hypersonic jet is such tremendous news to me. It's promising to fly from NY to London in 2 hours, and from LA to Japan in 3 hours - which is also sheer fucking insanity. Unfortunately, these concepts won't come to fruition for another 15-20 years per the article. But hey, I'm all for trying something and pushing limits like that.
Disney/Fox merger approved
This deserves its own blog post and it will absolutely get one, but for now, let's do a mini breakdown of what this means. The merger approval is pending Disney divesting Fox Sports - because Disney owns ESPN, it could be a monopoly in areas that only offer ESPN and Fox Sports. I'm kinda shocked it was included in the deal at all, since I thought Fox Sports was profitable thanks to old NFL contracts but that's besides the point.
What this really means is we have a whole Marvel Universe. The Fantastic Four are back. The X-Men are back... THE FUCKING FANTASTIC FOUR ARE BACK. This deal is huge because its their entire catalogue - including stuff Fox was the producer or distributor of. To get in the weeds of the nerdy-nerdy, I'm hoping this means we get full season releases of John Semper's Fox Kids' Spider-Man show from the 90's, as well as Blu-Ray releases of the unedited Star Wars movies. But time will tell.
Also, it cost them about $66 billion (with them assuming $13b worth of debt from Fox), thanks to Comcast jacking the price up with their own bid. all of a sudden, getting Marvel for $1 Billion and Star Wars for $2b in cash and $2b in stock seems like they were both steals.
Archie Bradley Shits his Pants
Archie Bradley is a pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, and this week he told the story of the most embarrassing thing to happen to him during a game. And it's not great.
I mean, it is great. Just definitely not for Bradley.
The dude shit his pants. Right before going out to the mound, he shits his pants.
Poor fella. I just wanna give him a hug. But, y'know, not that day.
You can find the brilliantly told story above. In better news for Bradley, after his dog, Crash, went missing, he took to twitter and people helped him find the lost pet.
Girls Like You music video
I don't seek out Maroon 5 but they're pretty far from terrible, so when they have a song on the radio I don't change it. This was brought to my attention by my lady friend who wanted me to see the new music video - and not only is the song catchy as hell, but the video itself is pretty rad too.
In what's ostensibly a tracking shot, a camera wraps around a platform with Adam Levine and a rotating cast of women behind him. It's simple, it's well executed, and it's one thing I've pitched before at old places and I'm so happy I finally have the clearest possible reference footage I can show CD's in the future.
Also, Cardi B crushes it in the back half of this.
Cards Against Humanity
Cards Against Humanity buying land along the Mexican border to obstruct a wall is an old story, but that's not what I want to bring to your attention.
I forget exactly what it was I googled at work, but this photo came up and I can't stop laughing.
No, seriously, it's been 6 days and I'm still laughing.
You can find the full article here with the photo for context, but just in case you missed the photo, I'm going to put it in again below because good grief...
I'm still laughing.