Alright, let's try this one again, huh?
I promise I won't make this a tirade about anything but the series, alright? Pinky. It's just gonna be about this book and strictly reasonable tangents.
From the outside I had completely forgotten The Thing was an attempt at an ongoing series that only lasted a few months outside of the gate. It seems like a series nowadays usually gets more than 8 issues to find itself, but 2005 was a different time for Marvel. This was between House of M and Civil War - Disney wouldn't be buying Marvel for another few years, and Elektra just hit theaters. Oh, snap, there was another movie that hit theaters that summer too, and I think I figured out why we got an ongoing for The Thing all of a sudden.
Given how much I've seen companies foam at the mouth for things like synergy, you'd think that an ongoing about the/second most visually interesting (sorry, Jessica Alba) character on the team would've been a slam dunk, but if you've read my previous post, you know that ongoing itself kicks off with something more akin to a whimper than a bang.
Something I totally forgot about - Ben Grimm, the ever-lovin' blue eyed Thing (as he refers to himself, multiple, multiple times so I feel it's okay for me to call him that too), comes into a bit of money, and doesn't turn out the better for it. Being the financial beneficiary after so many years bein' the debbie downer of any group he was ever in ever - was the status-quo shift that marvel thought could carry a new ongoing. And they were... half right and half wrong.
I still think this series failed because of that disastrous opening arc. Ben was dating some hot actress who brought him to a swanky party. Everyone there (including Ben, Tony Stark, a d-list hero, and a former c-list villain) gets kidnapped and brought to an island in the South China Sea where they have to survive evil machinations and half-truths from their murderous host.
It. Was. So. Slow. And the end result was that Ben's girlfriend only liked him for his money - which it's kinda hard not to see that "curveball" coming, but the logic Ben uses to arrive there is actually pretty fucking stupid. She has to distract the cameras from noticing Tony Stark slip away, so she pretends to strike up a huge argument with Ben, and even though he notices her plan, his conclusion is that he's seen enough of her movies to know she's not that good an actress, and breaks up with her.
I mean, that's funny as hell, but I don't think in the way Slott intended.
And just like that, Ben abusing his money for privilege he wouldn't be able to enjoy without it is put to rest. Which stinks, because I really, really liked seeing covers like this one hit the shelf.
After the snail's pace first three issues, things don't get much faster, but they certainly get a hell of a lot more interesting. Ben struggles to use his money responsibly and quickly discovers that money can't solve everything, even if it's well-intentioned.
When Ben was a kid, he and his brother ran around with the Yancy Street Gang - and as the little-hell raisers they were, Ben actually racked up quite the bill from a local pawnshop, despite his best attempts at using a five finger discount. Even though he's now worth billions, the pawnshop owner refuses to take his money to settle the debt, and instead wants to see him there every Sunday to work it off.
Ben learning about pride and dignity through working at a pawnshop is, honestly, right what I fucking wanted from this book. Just a hero doing regular-ass things and looking weird while he does it, because it's hard not to look weird when you're a 1,200 pound pile of orange rocks.
I'm super bummed this book got cut down when it did, but I'm also not surprised. The last issues are definitely more "we're going out, we might as well have fun" attitude that's always an unfortunate blast to read.
In the second half of this series, the following happens;
- The Thing agrees to take Lockjaw as a pet from the Inhumans
- The Thing and Spider-man team up to battle a common foe
- Ben takes his sculptress ex-girlfriend to ancient Greece for her birthday
- Ben hosts a poker game for heroes
Like, the book is the easy breezy break from tights and superhero drama that was desperately needed as the Marvel Universe transitioned into Civil War. If it's not the three issues with, umm, Arcade that killed this series momentum, it must have been the tonal shift between this and every other book Marvel was putting out on the line at the time.
If there's one problem I could pick with the series and in particular with San Slott's handling of the character... When he writes the character, it's like the dude just fell out of the 1960's. This character hasn't aged at all, Reed is guilty of this too to some extent but significantly less so than Ben. Sue and Johnny seem to be written pretty well, but with Ben - it feels like instead of writing the character The Thing, Slott is instead just doing a really, really good impression of The Thing. And it's cool he can do that, but it ultimately feels like the character itself is out of time. Like the joke is "Hey look at this person from the 60's here in the 2000's, isn't it a weird fish out of water story lol?" - and that makes it so damn hokey that it's hard to get into.
I know the character is an old soul. I know he's stubborn as all hell. But damn, man, stubborn in 2005 has to look different than it did in 1961 because it just fucking has to. This ongoing was put out the same time as Tales of the Thing, a three issue miniseries that was made to be evergreen - it didn't beat you over the head with continuity - and this is where you want The Thing to sound like it's 1965.
(Side note: You should read this, it's actually pretty fun and one of the comics that helped me get back into comics when I was a high school freshman - it's on Marvel Unlimited, do ittttt.)
I'm a little curious if I'll ever see Dan Slott steal a moment with The Thing - like take the character and really put his fingerprint on it, y'know? It's cool that he can imitate that character so well, but it's... it's a bit like hearing a cover song that sounds exactly like the original. It's awesome that you can sound like who you love so much but... if you're not adding anything new, then what's the point?
Joe Cocker covered "With a Little Help" so GODDAMN hard, sometimes you almost forget it's a Beatles song. Are we gonna get the comic equivalent from Dan Slott and Sara Pichelli this summer? I dunno, man. But I really hope so.
I'm pretty sick of the fucking Beatles, so to speak.