I did it just like I said I would. After Dan Slott's Spider-man/Human Torch, I finally read The Thing after putting it off for about 13 years.
So this book is... The thing about Dan Slott's 2005 book The Thing is... Okay, let me get something off my chest real quick so we can cut the bullshit and just get back to talkin' fun about funnybooks, alright?
Don't ever make Arcade your villain a multi-issue comic arc. Don't ever make Arcade your villain, period. And most especially, don't ever make Arcade your villain in a multi-issue comic arc to kick off your brand fucking new ongoing series. The character sucks ass, and has for nearly 45 years. Not only is it a total waste of time and talent to even give this shitsipper even a moment's thought, It's exponentially worse that this pair of fucking clownshoes, this fuckface waste of ink three of his own issues at the top of any ongoing.
With all due respect to Dan Slott and Andrea Divito, no wonder they fucking cancelled it 8 issues in. Look at this piece of shit you put all your faith in to set the goddamn tone:
Oh really? Your name is Arcade and you build giant, multi-million dollar deathtraps that exclusively fail in spectacular fashion? Tell me more, you Rube Goldberg knock off fuck, shitty-ass market pantry brand Wile E. Coyote.
He's made even worse by some other waste of a goddamn character who looks like the baby Astro-Boy and the T-1000 had just tagging along for the goddamn ride and I am so angry because these characters are ass and it should be illegal for Marvel Comics writers to give them any semblance of screen time, let alone fucking charge people to read about them as if they were credible goddamn conflict or something.
Honestly I think that's about all I can type today. I got a little too heated and I'm sorry about that - I'll tell you about The Thing's 2005 ongoing tomorrow or something. Because there's a lot of stuff to like...
But Arcade is most certainly not one of them. You're a piece of shit, Arcade. I hope you died in Secret Wars.